Back In MY Day

Harrumph! In my day, lad, we didn’t have none of these confounded inter-web pages like this… this… ‘Itch Dot Io’ nonsense! Nay! If ye wanted a game, ye’d set the machine to download it at the crack of dawn, and by the time the moon hung high and the owls were hootin’, perhaps—perhaps, mind ye—it’d be finished! None of this instant gratification, no sir! We had patience, we had fortitude, and by thunder, we appreciated every pixel because we earned it! Nowadays, these young’uns expect their fancy-pants amusements to come flying in faster than a greased lightning bolt! Pah! Spoiled, the lot of ‘em. But blast it all, let me return to the matter at hand! This here game—aye, it was a jolly good time, the sort of merriment you young whelps take for granted! The art? Why, it was a feast for the eyes—none of those garish, eye-watering abominations you see nowadays. The sounds? Hah! As fitting as a well-tailored waistcoat, they were! And the animations? Smooth as butter churned by a stout farmhand, I tell ye! Now, I did stumble upon a few pesky bugs—mostly the consequence of my own folly, hammering the action key like a woodpecker on a sugar rush—but that’s neither here nor there! And mark my words, sonny—the moon? Aye, it is made of cheese, just as my grandpappy always said, and I’ll hear no arguments otherwise!  

Herewith, and by no other means, signed and sealed,  Old Man Perunaonhyvee Jenkins.